September 2026
First, a huge thank you for taking time to explore my blog. Right now, as I type this, in early September 2026, I have been writing this blog for over 10 years. It’s been one heck of a journey. At first, it was a simple thing – an exploration of my life triggered, in the most part, by the very, very intense spiritual experience I had whilst taking part in a five-day belly-dance retreat in the Australian Gold Coast Hinterland. In the middle of the night, in pouring rain, my life as I knew it began to unravel and I began my spiritual journey.
Since then, through trauma, danger, illness, divorce, abandonment, discovery, learning, growing and more, my blog has been a constant point of stillness in an otherwise often-turbulent world. It is filled with my life. It is filled with my dreams and hopes. There are true experiences and make-believe stories. My blog has followed my discovery of being neuro-divergent and my driving need to understand how this has affected my life – how it played into the turbulence. It has covered my growing desire to write and to publish what I write. It has halted and stumbled when life became hard and focus in other areas became essential.
In the past couple of years many things have changed in my life. I discovered that I am now an elder. I am at an age where I can no longer avoid that recognition. I have come to see my mortality in a way that younger eyes cannot focus upon. I have come to hold regrets by the bucket-load and also to understand that regrets are frequently apologies unable to be given or received. They are the chains and anchors which hold you beneath the waves, causing you to drown one breath at a time. I have learned the hardest lesson of all – that regrets need to be released.
Now, it is time again for another rebirth. I still follow my spiritual path of discovery; I am still a student of my long-time teacher Essence Ka tha’ras who has travelled with me every inch of the road of my discovering who I am without my wounds. I am autistic, ADHD, Total Multi-sensory Aphantasia, SDAM, and have a very long list of other labels. My ‘wounds’ were never caused by these things; they grew from lack of knowledge and from misunderstanding. I have learned – mostly – to accept these as simply being me. I have learned that my mind often works on a different wave-length to most neuro-typical people. And this is fine.
When I first started to explore these ‘wounds’ I wrote four books and published them on Amazon. They were not novels; they were compilations – short stories with a common theme. Emboldened I was inspired to write a trilogy. Today I realised, after much struggle and several months of writer’s block, that full length books are not my forté. I don’t hold the right skills, and whilst I mostly enjoyed the writing, this style of writing was not something which brought me joy. What does bring me joy are observations about this world around us, often woven into short stories which frequently have hidden messages for those who seek to look deeper into their own souls.
Now I step out into a yet another different future. One where I have learned through the shedding of many tears, to release the regrets which have weighed me down; to fully accept that my mind works in a way that is right for me and to follow the path which brings me most joy. To write in a way that reminds me that this world is beautiful.
I start this day from where I am
Today will be my peaceful day
May your day be filled with peace
Auri'An Lay 