Some days are hard.
Christmas is one of those days for me. It is a day filled with loss and aloneness. This year was especially hard and I am disappointed in myself.
I don’t “do” Christmas and this year Spirit has guided me into understanding more about why this is. In fact, over the last few weeks, Spirit has shown me a low-frequency Energy that I carry around with me, and have done so for most of my life. It is such a part of me that I haven’t recognised it. It’s been bottled up so tight for so long I simply don’t see it. I see it in others, but not in Self and that has to change. You can’t work to better yourself, to grow, if you don’t see the very thing you need to work at. This low-frequency Energy is Anger. I can talk another time about how that Anger grew, about why I haven’t recognised it, but that is a tale for another day. It is enough right now that I have recognised that emotion. It means I can now work to heal that pain.
I am normally a glass-half-full person. Even in the bleakest times I can usually find something to be grateful for. I can usually see beauty in the dullest of days. But Christmas Day? Man that is hard. Especially when faced with Face Book. All those families coming together in Joy and celebration. It’s confusing. I am so glad and happy that others can enjoy that closeness with family but I am also deeply saddened that I don’t have family around. Normally I can deal with it, mainly because it’s usually just another working day for me. This year, I had no work to do. It’s my life choices that have brought me such a Christmas Day, but this year I wallowed.
Loss comes in many forms. I emigrated from England to Australia and in doing so, lost the family Christmases of childhood. Australian Christmas is in the middle of summer – that is something I can’t get my head around – so many of my Christmas traditions are lost also simply because of the heat. I could have made new traditions, but didn’t really get the chance. My husband passed from cancer not long after we arrived in Australia and his family made it clear – and they chose to do this at Christmas, the first one after he died – that we were outsiders. Or rather, If I am being honest (and I need to be) one member of the family made it clear we were not a part of that family. I think the others told themselves that it was best if they left us alone in our grief. I couldn’t get past the hurt that was done to my daughter that day and it was from this point that I decided that I wouldn’t “do” Christmas any more. You can kid yourself that you are fooling others into believing that not ‘doing’ Christmas is a choice against commercialism (and I don’t go for the religious stuff either) but I don’t think that many folk realise that for me it is a defensive thing. If you don’t do it, it can’t hurt. How screwed up is that?
More loss. This year I lost a close family member. We have some barriers to break through and it appears that she is not prepared to talk about them, to try to fix them. I didn’t even know they existed, at the level they obviously do for her, until early December. And this is the trigger for my despondency, but it also where I found my bottled up Anger. It is reflected in my daughter. I found it in my mother a few years ago. I remember that I’ve seen it in my grandmother – and experienced it at her hand. And if you look closely at the one picture I have of my Great Grandmother, it’s right there in her eyes too. I hope my daughter can break that trait. She has the strength.
But now, it’s Boxing Day. The day where tradition says you can return unwanted gifts. I return the gifts of loneliness and dismal introspection. I think it may take longer to return the Anger – that is something I don’t want anymore, but it will take some work to loosen. It was a horrible day, yesterday, but this morning I realise my glass is still half full. I had been given the opportunity to review these losses. Some are profound and can’t be changed, some can be worked on and hopefully overcome. But my decision, yesterday, to wallow in that loss and anger was a choice I made. Unknowingly, yes – but still a choice. Today I choose differently.
I have started the Energy work on this. It is a Karmic Imbalance that needs to be brought back into balance. And that is one of the reasons why I am here in this lifetime. To balance Karmic Imbalance. I do have help in this. I need it.
I asked my sister to be an intermediary, and sent a letter to this hurting family member. A bridge, I hope. A place from which to grow a better understanding of each other. As adults.
So I will stay away from Face Book for another day – I’m not quite ready to take Joy in other people’s happiness but I do not plan to allow another Christmas to knock me so low. If next year it looks as if it will be a lonely day again, then I’ll do something about it.
So often we see meme’s about remembering those who are alone over Christmas. My last 20 Christmases have been difficult, but this year I learned the depth of loneliness this day can bring. I didn’t like myself as someone wallowing in pain. That pain has been with me for those past 20 Christmases, but this is the first year that I have faced it. For the next 20 Christmases I will seek ways to build new traditions.
The Knowledge of my Anger, Despondency, Aloneness – and my wallowing in such low-frequency emotions IS a gift. A gift of deeper understanding that I can now take out into the world.
A Gift of Knowledge, given in this Era of New Beginnings and New Knowledge. I will NOT be returning this particular Gift on this Boxing Day. Knowledge is far too precious. And the opportunity for New Beginnings is the best Gift of all.





I first wrote about these words as a passionate, excited Neophyte who had finally reached a level of understanding about what they meant and how they would colour my life forever. I wrote four articles in my Dance In Thunder blog and I’ve shared the link more than a few times in trying to help people who have recognised that they are travelling through the energy of Fear but don’t know how to escape.
galaxies and producing….yep energy! And between and within these atoms there is – as far as I know, (I’m no scientist, but I plan on learning more) – nothing! Apparent emptiness. These atoms and the emptiness between is the playground of Quantum Physics. Those studying QP are slowly discovering the science behind the Shaman and the Healer and I find it fascinating that I have the opportunity to be here, in this lifetime, to be able to see this happening. The first steps leading to a time where science and Spirit blend into one. The medicine of the future.
Yes. A simple ladder. Build it in your mind. You can design your Energy Ladder however you want it to look. A simple, traditional wooden ladder; a fancy one with ornate trellis up the sides; a golden staircase; whatever works for you. No rules on your ladder design!! But it needs lots of rungs, or steps. Once you have your Energy Ladder firmly in your mind, we need to expand it out a bit. Develop the top and the bottom – for any ladder this is important. It needs to stand on something and lean against something.
Phew! Got that out of your system, you kinda let rip but hey! that released the anger and now you can get on with your life.
I hope this has given you some food for thought; that you better understand how easy it is to promote low-frequency energy and especially that if you want to raise your energetic vibration, you really need to be on your toes. Work on Self doesn’t always mean from a healing / spiritual point of view; it doesn’t mean knowing the ins-and-outs of every Ascended Master – it includes your language use, it includes understanding why you do certain everyday things like having a rant! And it includes understanding the repercussions, Energetically, of those rants or low-frequency posts.
Yep I get miffed at times but ANGRY? That is a very rare thing. But the quiz did get me to thinking. Having lived in fear for most of my life, could I possibly have hidden angers buried so deep I can’t find them. Is Anger just waiting for the right set of circumstances to crop up so I can erupt like Vesuvius and wipe out half the planet? It certainly is feasible. The two emotions are very closely linked. This is something worth exploring.
Next time you are blowing your top, stop and take a breath – and then start to think about all the emotions that are running through your body as a part of that Anger. I bet Fear is there! I
can pretty much guarantee that if you do that exploration of Self, you will very soon find you are no longer angry – and that you have a much deeper understanding of what triggers you and why.


A person who is not awake spiritually, nor sensitive to Energy, would only see a lot of lichen-covered fallen stone with some dry-stone walling set in terraces. But for those who are sensitive – Oh My! The energy is different on every terrace. It is like a progression of raised frequency – each terrace being higher. The lowest obvious terrace grabs you in the gut – heavy and dense – a warning. The next terrace hits higher – I felt a strong Energy of anxiety whilst my friend thought she was about to vomit. I think she had need to clear something before going higher. As we climbed higher the feeling became lighter and half way up I knew I had been here before and this level was about Welcome. I have since researched and believe there are actually 7 terraces – one for each of the Chakras maybe? Certainly many people have mentioned that each level has it’s unique energy and I cannot disagree with this at all.
The level below the Welcome (Throat Chakra?) Energy showed us the first of the worked stones. This one was about the size of a prone body and has a triangle cut right in the middle of the stone. My photo isn’t particularly great – I’ve taken the picture at the wrong angle to see the triangle clearly! It is believed that this stone was the cap stone or even an altar and that it has rolled down from the top. I climbed onto the stone, right on top of the triangular hole and felt……not much at all! For me the energy from the stone was pretty insignificant compared to what I was feeling all around me.
I was very interested in this doorway, but I was even more drawn to a place slightly above and to the left of this spot. This place is so familiar to me. It was so familiar even though I have never been here in this lifetime. But I have been here in a past life. I Knew that I had stood on that place just above and to the left of the door and welcomed people in Ceremony. I could see it as I stood there, I wasn’t sure of my role -maybe I had been a shaman or priest of some kind – but I was welcoming a group of people to this place and specifically through the doorway. Although we carried on towards the top, I knew that I would be back to explore this – we had permission to wander here for as long as we wanted.
I dropped into a deep meditation almost immediately and I asked Spirit and my Guides to allow me to learn of my connection to this place. I found myself taking my consciousness into my Third Eye, and then into The Void and finally into this ancient Self. There has been much talk of this pyramid being built by Egyptians. Egyptian hieroglyphs have been found here and other places in Australia. This pyramid, however, is much, much earlier than Ancient Egypt. The connection I Knew is with Lemuria. I don’t know which period – but I do know that I was not a shaman or priest – I was something like a site foreman!!! I was there at the building of this wonderful place. I know that I did indeed welcome people to this gateway half-way up the side of the pyramid and that there is a chamber within the hill that contains 6 bodies. I suspect, but am not sure that these are the people I welcomed. Important people, gladly entering the chamber. What their task was, why they were sealed into that chamber, I have no idea. They entered there in Ceremony, dressed in many feathers.
I know how the stones were dressed and lifted into place – it was by an Energy seen as a blue/violet light beam. When I eventually looked at the photos I had taken – you can see a shadow of this beam in some of them. Two beams that meet at right angles. This pyramid was not built as a place of worship – my Knowing tells me it has something to do with a World Map. My friend Herschell was given another clue – more on that later. There are links with other pyramids – especially those in South America (most of which came later – I don’t think linear time is important) and i need to do some research on this. I am also aware that the height we see in this time is much smaller than the original structure and I, as my ancient self, became very saddened by the desecration of what is possibly one of the oldest places on this planet.