I have a good friend who listens to me read almost everything I plan to publish – blogs, books, and more – she gives me great advice, and after I had read to her the previous blog, “Stimming” which was all about my experience, we got to talking more generally about how and when people use stimming as a means of self soothing, and it was then that I realised that stimming is not just an autistic tool for self-soothing.  It is a normal human function in life.

In particular I was drawn to a memory of my brother-in-law who would, keeping his toes on the floor, rapidly bounce his heels so that his knees jiggled.  I’d particularly noticed this because it didn’t seem to bother anyone else in the room but it was something I had been yelled at or even slapped for doing when I was a child.

I know that many people bite their nails.  I’d been told that if I swallowed the nails, they would grow in my belly and cause me a lot of pain.  I’d had nightmares about a gigantic nail clipping poking out of my belly – a thought which brought about much distress not only because of the concept of such a thing, but also because something which brought me comfort in times of stress had been taken away.

Talking with my friend, I started looking at the wider picture.  What else could be unrecognised stimming amongst the neurotypical world?  Toe-tapping, whistling, humming, chewing gum, scrolling through stuff on social media.  I’d even go so far as to say that our mobile phones have become the fidget toy of choice for most of us. 

Now, to be clear, I am not taking away from autistic stimming.  As you know from the previous blog I only recently allowed myself the physical and emotional freedom to stim, so I am, in many ways, only learning about this, and that learning is only based on my personal experience.  This recognition is more the realisation that throughout my life I hadn’t NOT stimmed.  I regularly do many physical things that sooth my body and my soul. 

And there is a difference between autistic stimming and neurotypical stimming.  For me, autistic stimming is explosive.  It can’t be stopped until it’s run it’s course.  It is essential in order to avoid an even bigger blow-out.  It happens because we simply cannot contain and process all the information, external and internal, that we are dealing with.  It isn’t mind-numbing.  It is a physical expression of an overload explosion.

In contrast, neurotypical stimming, is done unconsciously, often as habit or boredom.  Are they different?  I don’t think so, I think it is just another expression of opposite ends of the spectrum of all humanity. 

Thank you for reading

Please like and subscribe

Check out my new Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dragonsandbooks

Auri’An Lay

Life through a neuro-divergent mind