I am Crow Medicine.  Crow is The Messenger, bringing Knowledge and Discernment. 

Always in my life there have been corvids, mainly magpies, but also crows, and for me when a crow makes itself known to me I know that I need to be very aware of what is happening around me, especially if I am planning to travel anywhere.

The first time that crow went a bit overboard in warning me not to travel, was many years ago when I was to fly to Melbourne.  Two days before the flight I found a baby crow in the garden.  It had fallen out of a nest.  I went mountaineering up the tree to return the baby.  I wasn’t sure whether it would be accepted back by its parents, but I had to try.

The following day, as I was packing for my trip, there was an almighty thump against the window.  A crow had flown straight into the window and killed itself.  Very saddened but still not hearing the message, I held a funeral.

Early morning on the day of the flight, a friend was to drive me to the airport and when we went outside to her car there was a crow sitting on the roof.  We tried to waft it away, but it refused to leave.  Eventually we just set off, hoping that the crow would fly away as we were moving.  It did.  I hope.  I never saw it.

We reached the airport and my friend dropped me off before heading into the town for a shopping spree.  I went through baggage check and security and settled down to wait for my flight. 

It was only a small airport with no particular arrivals or departure halls, just lots of people milling around.  I hate being in crowds – there is a likelihood of a full-on meltdown!  I bought a scotch and a sandwich and put my nose into my book and pretended I wasn’t there until an announcement asked for the travellers on my flight to head towards the boarding gate.  No, we were not boarding, they just wanted us all together and eventually we were told that there was a delay and that the plane would arrive soon and that the turn-around would be a quick as possible.

In my group of wanna-be passengers were a whole heap of older folk in wheelchairs and even on stretchers, they were being transferred to the major hospitals in Melbourne.  And even in my growing distress I felt sorry for them.  There were also a lot of families with small children.  This was going to be a very full, and noisy, flight.  My anxiety went up several notches. 

Eventually the plane arrived and half and hour later we were moved on-board.  Oldies first, parents and kids, then the rest of us.  I’d booked a window seat thank goodness, I could look out the window and try to pretend that I was alone, but first we had to get aloft. 

We sat in the plane for ages before it moved towards the runway and once there, we waited for about 30 minutes before the Captain announced that he had found a small issue with the radar and was waiting for someone to come check it out.  It was well-worth the wait, he informed us, because if we ran into nasty weather we would really be better off with radar rather than without it. 

Another half an hour or so (that felt like three hours) we were informed that the radar needed a new thingamabob and one was being sourced – we’ll be up and flying to Melbourne before we knew it. 

Another hour later and the plane taxied back to the airport and we all disembarked.  The radar bit needed to be flown up from Brisbane.  It’ll take an hour or two, but everyone can enjoy complimentary drinks and sandwiches. 

In that departure area it was bedlam!  The old dears were uncomfortable; needed assistance to the bathroom; were overdue their medications…  The kids were rambunctious and argumentative, hurtling around the room annoying everyone except their parents who were getting to know each other over the free drinks, and my anxiety was well over explosion level.  I was going to really let rip very soon if I couldn’t escape – and I couldn’t.  I wanted to go to Melbourne and see my daughter and grandchildren.  I would travel through Hell to do that and travelling through Hell is exactly where I thought I was.

And then I remembered.  I’d recently learned how to meditate.  How to build a protective, energetic, barrier around me and how push out peaceful energy to those around me.  I did something that is so not me, I went into the middle of the room, sat down on the floor, made sure that my hand luggage was secure (no point in being overly trusting) and went into meditation. 

I went deep.  I went into my place of sanctuary and peace and then I set the intention that with every breath out I would send that peace and knowledge of safety into the world around me.  I have no idea how long I was in that meditative state but when I did eventually come back to this reality the room and the people in it were very different. 

The oldies were laughing and having fun: chatting, playing cards and sharing photographs.  The children had made a plan and had moved a whole heap of chairs into a large circle.  They were all inside the circle and playing so well together, and the parents were chatting with their neighbours over glasses of wine and beer.

Had I done this in my meditation?  I will never know, but I like to think that in some way I had contributed.

Eventually we were notified that the flight was cancelled. I called my friend to see if she was still shopping and could pick me up. She was actually just getting close to the airport and would be there in about 15 minutes!

Crow had warned me that this journey was destined for trouble and since then crow has joined me whenever I have to drive somewhere.  If crow swoops in front of my car, I know to slow down and take care, because somewhere up ahead there would be an accident, roadworks, a speed trap etc. 

When I moved to the Far North of Queensland, I discovered that crow doesn’t inhabit my new part of the world and I was devastated, but birds work together and Kite took over the role.  Now, as I get older and more creaky in my joints, driving is not something I do very often.  In fact, I no longer even own a car, but I can access a car and driver when I need to go to hospital or other important trips – and tomorrow is one of those times.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw three crows in my backyard.  They are slightly smaller than the crows I know and love, but they are definitely corvids.  Highly excited I went to Google and found that they are probably Torrisian Crows.  For the last few days they have been hopping around close to the house and on a couple of occasions have even been peaking through the window at me, and knowing that they are my Protectors I have been watching and taking notice.

My part of the world is experiencing monsoon rains.  Horrendous rainfall with a lot of flooding.  There are three tropical lows just off the coast which may develop into cyclones.  And I am supposed to travel 2 ½ hours to the hospital. 

I discovered that the roads north and south of me are flooded and that no traffic is getting through.  I remembered that Crow has appeared out of nowhere and has been hanging around.  I know Crow.  I know that he is warning me.  So today I cancelled my driver, phoned the hospital, and told them I need to reschedule. 

There is no way, especially during Cyclone Season in the Far North of Queensland, that I am going to ignore a direct message from my totem animal.

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Auri’An Lay

Life through a neuro-divergent mind