After a life journey of many ups and downs, not a lot remains in the form of mementos.  I am still in the process after moving house, of finding the ‘right’ place to keep such things and today, as I decided to move some things around to a better storage place, I came across a small box that I’ve not opened in a very long time.  This box contains small mementos and photos that are precious to me.  My life history all wrapped up in less than a dozen items. In this box of memories are two hand-written journals I wrote from when my first husband passed away.  He had died from brain cancer at a very young age and I had learned to cope with the trauma by writing everything that hurt.  It was, in many ways, the start of my journaling and it is what kept me reasonably sane at the time. 

Those journals became my connection to the reality of widowhood.  In fact, they became the only means I had for close on two decades to remember what date he had died and what date was the funeral.

With SDAM (severely deficient autobiographical memory), I am lucky if I remember my own birthday without reminders everywhere.  As these dates represented something I didn’t want to remember and, after the first couple of years, there wasn’t anything to remind me on a day-to-day basis, it was easy to let them slip.

Since then I have discovered the benefits of journalling.  I no longer hand-write – that is way too slow for me – I’m an old-fashioned, 1960’s trained, touch typist.  My fingers can keep up with my thoughts in a way that pen and paper cannot hope to attain!

I have a template on my laptop in which I put the things that are important – and that can be anything from a medical appointment to putting the rubbish bins out for collection or lunch with a friend!  If I don’t have these things staring back at me from the screen they too will be forgotten!

With SDAM it is so important to have reminders about your life.

So what goes into the journal?  Just about everything.  What time I got up, how well – or badly – I slept, my weight, my meditation practice, what exercise I am to do (or have done).  I note conversations with friends, contemplation of whatever I am reading.  I copy and paste interesting Facebook and You Tube posts in there, even copies of these blogs!  In short, there is no limit.  If it is something I find interesting now – well, it might be interesting in ten years too! 

Most of the time, as I start an entry for a new day, I am already starting to forget.  Some people with SDAM can keep clear memories for several weeks or even months before they start to fade – for me I have noticed it is often only a matter of days, and when that is coupled with executive function issues with autism and ADHD, it’s almost vital that a diary/journal of some kind becomes a habit. 

Right now, as I write this, I am stepping into a new daily routine.  Some things have changed and I have to also change.  I think that without my journal, I would probably be wondering what to do with the extra hours that have suddenly become available each day.  With my journal I discover that there are heaps of things, projects, that I have been talking about re-starting and especially, deepening my interaction within the community.

Life is interesting and exciting.

I wonder what I will write about today?

What will you write about?

Thank you for reading my meanderings. Don’t forget to hit Like and add yourself to my e-mailing list so that you don’t miss an episode.