There are certain words I try not to use.  I’m not always successful, because sometimes they are exactly the words you need to say.  Like when you stub your toe or bang your funny bone:  it’s not in the least bit funny and the only word that will suffice has four letters beginning with “F”and is yelled at the top of your voice several times!

I’m 68 and grew up in an era where many women didn’t even know the meaning of such words, and most men would not dream of using them in front of a lady.  I recall my parents’ response when I used the word ‘bugger’.  I was dragged off to the kitchen and my mouth was washed out with soap and then my dad told me exactly what that word means.  It was way too graphic for my young and innocent mind, and some 50-odd years later when that was the key word in an Australian TV advertisement I was still shocked!

Some of the other words I try not to use may seem a lot more innocent on the surface, but to me they are words of deep meaning that have been trivialised by modern society.  Words like Love and Hate are pretty obvious.  For me, saying something like “I love that song,” or “I love the taste of avocado,” bears absolutely no resemblance to telling your partner, your parents, or your child that you love them. 

Hate is another such word.  It is a powerful, very low-frequency word yet we use it in such a throw-away manner: “I hate these shoes,” or “I hate the rain.”   I prefer to keep such words tucked away out of sight or sound until I really do need to express that.  So far I have never found anything that is worthy of such all-encompassing passion.

I’m in the process of getting my fourth book ready for publishing and, not for the first time when I am editing, I’ve recognised my roots in the North of England and Australia.  I have a major habit of starting sentences with So, But and And.  And when I am talking, my speech is peppered with “Yeah, but”.

It was really interesting to discover that the most negative word in the English language (or so Mr Google tells me) isn’t something like bad swear words, or strong descriptive words like ‘hate’,  it’s that simple little three-lettered word we all use all day long… ‘but’.

Yes, the most negative word we have is ‘but’.  Almost every time we use it, we are taking something potentially positive and hopeful, and essentially pulling the rug out from under it. For example:

• I’m trying to get tickets for such-and-such a show, but they are selling like hot-cakes. 
• I hope I can fit into that dress, I really love it, but I know I’m probably the wrong body shape.
• I really want that promotion at work, but I know that the person in charge doesn’t like me.

We hope for something, we wish for something, we work towards something and then we limit ourselves with that tiny little word: but.

We know that everything is energy, including our words and our thoughts, and we are taught that we should be careful of the words we use that can pull our energy frequency down and undermine our growth.  When we think of such things, we tend to think of those harsher words such as ‘hate,’ and the various swear words that are so common nowadays as being the carriers of low-frequency energy…  and then we discover that one of the most simple of words is probably doing more to put you in a negative energy than almost any of the swear words we use so freely.

But…..

How weird is that?